i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize