Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
