Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
