We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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