Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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