please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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