I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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