i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
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