No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
