Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
