Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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