i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
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