My hand turned me down
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize