And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Oh god it's open bar.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
