He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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