Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
