Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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