He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
