talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
