i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
