She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
