I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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