You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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