Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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