wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
