After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
