the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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