The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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