You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize