some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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