i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
