We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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