I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
