How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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