i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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