Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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