I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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