so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
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New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
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In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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