I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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