I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
