trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
