you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
