he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize