You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
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wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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