I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
