I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
