So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
