I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
