Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
