we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
