apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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