it wasn't lemon gatorade
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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