Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
