i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
