i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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