I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just want to make out with him forever
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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