It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
