she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
