apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm at about main and main street
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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